Faded Wings
by MadCheshire
Summary: Sequel to I Want To Save Their Light. Dean and Castiel have gotten around their misunderstandings and been dating for a month. Both of them have their uncertainties in the relationship but eventually open up to each other about them. Destiel
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Aaand I'm returning with a sequel~  
Hope you enjoy the first chapter as I am quite happy with it myself!  
and I'm sorry for any mistakes but it's almost 3 am and I'm very tired...**

* * *

"What did you say?" I questioned Dean after swallowing the piece of hamburger I had almost choked on moments earlier.

Dean popped a fry in his mouth and shrugged. "Sammy is coming to town for a week and he said he'd like to meet you." He repeated, leaning back in his seat. "Apparently he won't believe that I've been together with someone for a whole month without seeing it himself."

I just nodded as I probably wouldn't have been able to utter even a single word from my mouth. From what I had understood, meeting someone's family was a big step in a relationship, even though it would be only his brother. I thought about my own family for a second and admitted to myself that I could never dare to introduce Dean as my boyfriend to my parents. Father would most definitely kill me.

"Don't worry Cas." Dean laughed and sipped from his coke. "I'm sure Sammy will like you. Though you are the first _boyfriend_ I have told him about, let alone introduced him to."

Dean's words made me choke on the food inside my mouth as a slight panic started budding inside me. "S-So- Does he know you're- you know?" I stuttered and started fumbling with the straw in my drink, eyes glued to it like it was more interesting than our current conversation.

"What, bi? He's always known that. I didn't actually ever hide it." Dean admitted. I nodded slowly, my eyes never leaving the ice cubes floating in the dark liquid. "I can only assume that you haven't even considered telling your family?" He almost whispered, his voice sounding really careful.

My lower lip trembled before I bit into it nervously. I shook my head in shame as I was worried that Dean would think that I wanted to hide our relationship, which I didn't. "My- My parents aren't exactly the accepting kind." I muttered bitterly. "If I told my father, I'm quite sure he would hit me and tell me I'm not his son, that he didn't raise me to be a fag." My voice broke towards the end and I felt tears welling up in my eyes. "I swear I'm not ashamed of us or anything"

Dean's hand reached to my cheek and I leaned in to the warmth. "I know Cas, I know." He soothed me, his thumb wiping away tears falling down my cheek. "It's not your fault. I know not all families are okay with this kind of thing."

I called his name, once, then second time after a pause. I kept moving my lips, mouthing the name again and again like a mantra. Dean slid to my side of the table, cupping my chin and pulling me into a gentle kiss. I pressed against him and we stayed like that until my tense shoulders finally started to relax. Dean breathed in the air I breathed out and he pulled away after one last peck on my lips. "Dean-" I said one last time, kind of as a reassurance to myself that he had calmed me down.

"How about we go home?" Dean asked, his hand still lingering on my arm, rubbing it slowly. "Cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie or two?"

I hummed happily at the idea and slipped out of my comfy seat, pulling Dean out with me. "I would like that." I mumbled and rose slightly on my toes to reach his lips once more. "Can I stay over?" I asked as my right hand found Dean's left hand and our fingers tangled together.

Dean pulled me towards the front door and waved good bye to Ellen with his other hand. "Of course." We stumbled towards the Impala waiting outside while Dean nibbled my earlobe gently, his other hand sliding down to my waist. I threw my left hand around Dean's neck and pulled him closer while an actual giggle left my lips. "How the hell I got you Cas?" Dean whispered in my ear, pushing me against Impala's frame.

"Well, for starters, you got yourself dumbed in our restaurant, got drunk and kissed me."

He pulled away from me, frowning, though a smile still tugged at the corners of his mouth. "I kissed you?" He questioned and I could hear a laugh in his voice.

"You don't remember?"

Shaking his head, he leaned back in for a kiss. "And it frustrates me, knowing that and not remembering it. It was our first kiss for God's sake." I was surprised by Dean's words. I didn't expect it to be such an important thing for him, but at the same time it made me really happy. He really was annoyed that he didn't remember a short, drunken kiss that hardly lasted thirty seconds.

"If it makes you feel any better, I probably wouldn't have realised my feelings without that kiss." I whispered as my hand slipped from his neck and down to his chest. "Shall we get going? I'm sure your place is more comfortable for this kind of thing than here."

Dean let me go and walked around the beautiful black car before both of us got in. Unlike how I used to, I sat as close to Dean as I dared, the tips of my fingers brushing against his tight as I set my palm on the seat. The silence we shared was completely comfortable, Dean's hand occasionally brushing over mine or reaching over for a quick kiss when the car stopped at red lights.

I actually enjoyed that, the little simplicity we shared. It was something I never had experienced before and in the back of my head I kept thinking that I wouldn't mind spending my life in that little paradise of ours.

The drive ended too soon and we made our way to our floor and Dean's apartment that was actually slightly bigger than mine. Its furnishing was much more thought about, compared to my place that only had the necessary stuff, most of it purchased used. I removed my coat and slumped into the huge, black leather couch while Dean went to his DVDs, looking through them to decide on a movie. "Is this okay?" He asked, flashing me the cover. I didn't really care so I gave him an accepting nod and he slipped the DVD inside the player.

The movie was okay, a standard action flick with lots of explosions, but I enjoyed our cuddling more and because of it, I missed about third of the almost non-existent plot. I had snuggled against Dean happily and he had wrapped his arms protectively around me, his hands on my waist. Dean's scent, the faint smell of his aftershave and his favourite whiskey, would distract me when I pushed side of my head to crook of his neck. I didn't mind it, staying that position and letting my mind haze while only partly focusing on the images flashing in the TV screen.

By the time the credits started to roll, I was half-asleep on Dean's chest, but conscious enough to lift my head and look at Dean, who is grinning. "You want to head to bed?" He said softly, his fingers threading through my unruly curls.

I hummed in response, slowly crawling to my own two legs.

Dean's bed was also bigger than mine, king size while mine was queen size, but I preferred mine because then we were sleeping closer to each other. I fell on the bed, still clothed and rolled to my back, pushing myself up with both of my arms. "Come on Cas, you can't sleep with your clothes on." He sighed and pulled off his t-shirt, revealing his absolutely perfect upper-body.

"Make me." I chuckled shyly as I licked my lips on the sight of Dean's body.

His eyes widened in surprise, but the expression soon faded into a scheming smirk as he moved to the bed and above me. Our lips crashed into a devouring kiss filled with tongue. I let myself completely collapse against the bed as I reached around Dean's neck and pulled him down with me. His hands reached for my shirt's buttons and begun undoing then one by one.

He attacked my neck, sucking and nibbling and a low moan left my lips. Hands roamed against my body, exploring the now naked skin and slipping the shirt off my shoulders.

Skin against skin felt fucking amazing. I started to lose myself into the heat and lust growing between us every second. That is, until Dean's hands found their way to the bulge in my pants. At first I groaned in pleasure, the friction caused by Dean's movements made me want more and more, but as I felt him undo the button of my jeans' something snapped inside me.

It was like all that reason I threw out of the window came back all at once. I realised what we were doing and while I knew Dean would be careful and gentle with me, I suddenly just couldn't jump in to it. No matter how fucking much I yearned friction on my half-hard cock and the feel of Dean against me, huge part wouldn't let me do it. Not yet at least.

I gathered all my strength to push Dean away, to look at his lust-filled eyes and shake my head to tell him now was not the right time. "S-Sorry Dean- I can't-" I breathed out and hoped my own disappointment couldn't be heard through my voice.

Dean's eyes narrowed and he tried to lean back against me again, but I stopped him. "Cas, please." He whined, clearly wishing to get further with this, but I knew I'd have to mentally prepare myself before going any further than this. "Cas, I promise I won't hurt you. I need you so badly."

I felt his words stabbing me, it felt like I really had hurt him with my refusal. To tell you the truth, I was scared. I knew really well that Dean was experienced to say the least. He definitely knew how to pleasure his partner, where to touch, where to kiss. I, on the other hand, had been with only one person besides Dean and Meg clearly had been a woman. I knew nothing about being with a man. Sure, I knew the basics, but in bed I was clumsy and uncertain. Not a lover Dean was worthy of. "I-I can't do it now."

Dean stared into my eyes before sighing loudly and getting away from me. "Fine" He groaned with frustration and ran his fingers through his hair. He slipped his jeans off and crawled under the covers, settling comfortably with his back towards me. "Good night Cas."

I stared at Dean's back and listened to his even breathing for a while. Yup, I had hurt his feelings. While removing my own jeans I hoped that he would turn towards me and say it was fine, that he would wait for me to be ready. Sure, I had chosen to tell him pretty late about it and he must have been holding himself back for the past month or so, but he should have understood this change wasn't that easy for me, no matter how much I cared for him.

I got between the sheets, but stayed as far as I could from Dean and we fell asleep like that, this huge gap separating us both physically and mentally. Dean's bed had never felt that cold before.

* * *

_That night I once again dreamed of Dean._

_We were doing it and it felt good, really good. We were glued to each other, Dean whispering my name over and over again as he pounded into me. We came together, wrapped around each other, my cum covering our heated skins with its white colour._

_I was happy and he was happy. It was just more than perfect for me. It was heaven to be connected to Dean like that._

When I woke up, I was in Dean's arms and I smiled. It was warm and comfortable, it was how we were supposed to be. I snuggled my arms around Dean and ignored the hardness in my underwear for the second time that day because I didn't want to pull away from Dean.

The second time I fell asleep it happened much more faster.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: God, I'm sorry for taking bit longer on getting this chapter out! My life's been bit hectic the past few weeks as I graduated a week ago and I've been busy with lots of stuff, so I didn't have much time to write.  
Hope you like this chapter as it's the first one from Dean's perspective. I don't know, the writing might seem a little off, considering that I tried to somehow make the writing different from the way I wrote with Cas, to make the difference between their perspectives clearer. I know I probably failed...**

* * *

I felt fucking horrible when I woke up. The regret budding inside of me gnawed at my conscience, seeing how inconsiderate I was towards Cas last night.

No matter how long I hadn't had sex, I shouldn't have even considered forcing Cas like that. I fucking knew he wasn't that experienced, especially with a man, but lust had clouded my mind. All I could think was Cas, how I wanted him, how I needed him. I hated myself for letting myself slip, not being able to wait until Cas was ready.

Yawning, Cas nuzzled closer to my chest and I realised we had ended up sleeping together, despite the fact that we were on the far sides of the bed before falling asleep. I looked down and saw that unruly, dark mop pressed against my skin, the sight forcing a smile on my face. The feeling of utter bliss took over the regret as I leaned to snuggle against Cas' curls, smelling the hint of cinnamon that was usually on him.

"Good morning Dean." Came Cas' low voice as his hands slipped up and around my neck. His blue eyes were still clouded with sleep, staring at me in half-daze.

"Morning Cas." I chuckled and reached his lips for a light kiss. Castiel hummed against my lips happily before pulling few inches away and I kept breathing in his scent. "So, want breakfast?" I questioned.

He nodded and tore himself away from me, slipping off the bed. My eyes widened at the sigh that made my lower regions twitch. As always, Cas' body, that was usually covered in his baggy clothes, was actually really well toned and slightly tanned. I swallowed, using all my willpower not to jump on Cas and devour him right there. He seemed nearly teasing as he spun around on those slender legs of his and looked innocently at me. "Do you mind if I take a shower while you cook?" He asked.

I nodded slowly, staring after Cas as he skipped towards bathroom in nothing but his underwear.

Collapsing back onto the bed, I took a slow breath. Who fucking knew that containing myself was going to be this hard? There was so many things I wanted to do to him, I wanted him to do to me, but Cas needed time. I just- I just wanted to connect with Castiel, but I couldn't help but be afraid that I'd hurt him if I did so.

Pushing myself up, I also pushed all the thoughts I had, only focusing on the fact that I should make us breakfast. Bacon, eggs, toast and coffee: A meal that was a fucking cliché, but too delicious not to make. I also took out a packet of corn flakes from the cupboard that I didn't remember existing, but was safe to eat according to the date.

I was frying the bacon and eggs while the bread was toasting when I heard the shower turn off. "I'm almost done with the food!" I called to him as I flipped the food on the two plates I had set out ready. Next I poured some of the heavenly liquid known as coffee in the cups before the bread jumped out of the toaster

Cas came into the kitchen as I was spreading butter on the slices. "Sit down." I encouraged him, nudging my head slightly towards the small table where I had placed our food.

"Fuck, Dean. I would have survived with a plateful of cereals and a slice of bread." Cas breathed out, sitting down on the table. I grinned as I handed him the toast and took the other one into my mouth. "This all looks so delicious." He admitted as he nibbled a piece from the bread.

"I have cereals, if you want some." I said as I settled opposite of him, staring at his beautiful blue eyes focused on his plate. Cas blushed and shook his head quickly. Man, he looked adorable. His eyes adverted mine while he took a sip from his coffee and I couldn't help but smirk at Cas' cute awkwardness. "Would you like anything else?"

Cas' eyes met me and he shook his head again as he swallowed. "It's fine Dean. I don't even normally have breakfast, so this is more than enough." He took some more bacon to his pink lips. My eyes widened as I stared at him chewing, the lips moving way too seductively for so mundane movement. "Dean?" Cas called my name, stopping me from slipping into my daydreams.

"Ah- Sorry Cas. I must have dozed off"

"I can see that." Cas laughed and before I realised it, he stood up to lean over the small table. Our lips met and- Holy shit- Since when Cas had even kissed like that? He kissed slowly, passionately- Not shyly like he used to. "Thank you Dean." He muttered once we pulled away from each other, both out of breath.

"Yeah." I swallowed, my eyes trailing up from Castiel's perfectly moulded lips to his blue eyes. "No problem Cas."

* * *

"Hello brother."

"Hey Benny!" I greeted the bearded man and slid to the booth my friend was sitting in. "How was the trip?" Benny Lafitte, whom I had known since high school, had just spent the last three months on a sailing trip. Nothing special, just exploring the coasts of America, as he had said himself.

Benny shrugged with a smile creeping on his lips. "It was great. It was nice to be by myself, you know?" I nodded, but stayed quiet, knowing that he still wanted to say something. "Helped me forget about things, especially Andrea." His voice choked up slightly at his passed away wife's name. She had been fighting the illness for so long, it was terrible to see her lose in the end. "But I'm alright now. I've come to terms with it."

My heart broke as I watched Benny's eyes water slightly. He had been my best friend for so long. Heck, we had been there to comfort each other after break ups, Benny even was the one who originally helped me accept my own sexual attraction towards men. "If there's anything you need, I'll be there for you." I croaked, not even realising until then that my throat had become dry.

He wiped his eyes dry and laughed in a way that sounded forced. "Thank you Dean." At that point Jo came to our table, setting down two beers. I thanked god as she didn't open her loud mouth, but only nodded to me as a greeting to me before returning to her job. Clearly, she understood that we wanted to talk in private. "So, Jo tells me you found someone." Benny stated, taking down fifth of his beer with one gulp.

I nodded, taking a more moderate taste of my own beer. "Cas- You remember that next-door neighbour who moved in about six months ago? Novak, with the fucking brightest blue eyes ever?"

Benny rolled his eyes, as if it was obvious. "Yes, the one you were crushing on before I left." I waited for the realisation hit Benny's eyes as he put the pieces of a rather easy puzzle together. "Really? How the hell did you get laid with him?"

I frowned at Benny's choice of words before slight blush of embarrassment washed over my face. "It's a long story, but we haven't actually slept together yet." My fingers fiddled with a paper napkin as Benny roared with laughter. "For god's sake, Benny! He used to think he was straight! I can't just force him to do it when he clearly isn't ready!" I barked at him.

"Whoa. What the hell has happened to the Dean I know. I'm amazed that some of the people you see manage until the third date." Benny joked, drinking more of his beer. "I heard that you've been dating for a quite a bit already. How long has it been exactly?"

I cleared my throat, knowing exactly that Benny didn't mean only how long I had been dating my absolutely too-fucking-attractive neighbour. "I've been together with Cas for about a month, I think. As for how long has it been- Probably over two months." Well, the face Benny had after those words was probably the most amusing thing I had seen in a while. "You alright dude?" I asked, sipping from the beer while chuckling.

"Two months?!" Benny breathed out, his laugh changing into a genuine surprise. "How the hell have you managed? No offence brother, but I don't remember you going without sex for more than two weeks. I would have thought you'd have lost your mind by now."

"Sometimes it feels like that." I sighed and leaned against the table.

"If you want-" Benny started and I lifted my eyes on his face curiously. "I don't mind relieving you. It would help me get my mind off things too."

That offer really came out of nowhere, though last time we had 'relieved each other' was just before Benny had left on his trip. We never did it when the other was in a relationship, it would of course complicate things, though we didn't have any romantical feelings involved. To us, it was just two friends having fun together. "I think I have to refuse this time, Benny." I muttered. "Even though I don't have a sexual relationship with Cas yet, I care for him deeply. I have to manage somehow."

"Oh yeah, how's that going?"

I frowned at Benny's question, yesterday crawling back into my mind. "Not that well. I might have actually tried to force him a bit too far." Benny's eyebrows shot up and I knew exactly what he was asking without saying it. How far had we gone? "Not much from making out, maybe a bit caressing, but never anything below the waist." I said and swallowed. "W-We were into it and I thought it would be okay to go further, but-"

"He stopped you." He filled my sentence.

I ran my fingers through my hair, sighing. "And I was stupid enough to get mad at him! You should have seen his face. He looked so miserable, like he should be the one apologising. I'd like to apologise, but I didn't dare to bring it up in the morning when he acted like it didn't happen."

Benny looked at me like I was an idiot. I probably was, though. "You should apologise! I always knew you thought mostly with your downstairs, but this is too much!" He scoffed. He drank last of his beer and stood up. "I have to head to work, but I suggest that you think of a way to show him you're not a total dick, who only thinks about getting laid."

I was left at the booth after that, thinking about Benny's brief scolding.

* * *

About half an hour later I was standing behind Cas' door, in my hand the biggest fucking bouquet I found with a moderate price. Damn, flowers were expensive. I knocked on the door once, then twice, but no answer came. "Cas?" I yelled through the door while knocking again, but the annoying silence from his apartment remained.

It was 19:24 according to my phone, so Cas might have been still at work, but I decided to make sure. _"Hey Cas. You still at work?" _I tapped the message on the screen and re-read it a few times before pressing the 'send' button.

After few minutes the phone buzzed, signalling an arrived text. _"I won't get out before 9. Why?"_

I sighed in disappointment before I typed out an answer. _"Nothing much. I'll just leave my small surprise in front of your door."_ I grinned, wondering what Cas' face would look like upon receiving my text. Setting the bouquet in front of Cas' door like I said, I headed to my own apartment.

"_Surprise? What are you talking about?" _

"_Better hurry home so you will find out."_

"_Oh fuck you Winchester."_

"_Love you too Novak."_

After sending out the last message, I froze. Wasn't this my first time actually saying anything near the words 'I love you'? I cursed in my head, already sending out another message telling him to forget about the previous message. Wouldn't that be worse? My phone buzzed again and slightly hesitating I opened the arrived message. _"I know Dean. I love you too."_

Right. It wasn't exactly how I expected for us to confess our undying love for each other, but I was okay with it. It worked for us.


	3. Chapter 3

The clock moved strangely slow as there was only less than an hour before my shift was about to end. Less than three hours until Dean would get out of his job from the Sandover Inc. and less than four hours until we would head to the Roadhouse to meet his brother Sam.

"Good afternoon and welcome to Heaven. May I take your order?" I said as cheerfully as possible while I readied my pen on a clean page of my small notebook. The man's puppy-like eyes moved to me in surprise from his menu. He coughed in embarrassment, slight blush on his face, as those eyes travelled between me and the menu. "I can come later if you have yet to decide, sir. Or would you like to order your drink first…?"

The man nodded, slight relieved grin seeping to his lips. "That would be good. Could you bring me a beer, please?"

I nodded and pushed the notebook away along with the pen. "Understood, I'll be right back with your drink." I flashed my 'customer-service' smile before I headed towards the bar counter where Gabriel was slacking off. "Shouldn't you be serving customers?" I sighed as I pulled out a glass for the beer.

"I'm on a break." Gabriel muttered and pulled out a lollipop from his mouth. "Though I wouldn't mind getting back to work if I'd have to serve that guy." He said with a grin, pointing at the customer I was currently attending to with his red, probably strawberry flavoured lollipop.

I raised my eyebrows at him, only to be answered with pair of golden brown eyes blinking innocently at me. "Don't try to hit on the customers." I said, giving him an accusing look.

"I would never-" He gasped, making it sound like my accusation was out of the question. Yeah, it would have worked if there wouldn't been certain incidents that told me otherwise. As my look didn't waver, Gabriel collapsed onto the counter again with a pout. "No fair! How come you can flirt with Dean whenever he comes to eat here! He's a customer too."

I rolled my eyes, thinking that the answer was obvious. "Did it never occur to you that I'm allowed to flirt with him because he is my boyfriend and I actually know him? I doubt that you knew any of the people you dared to use your lame pickup lines on." I pushed the glass under the tab and watched the beer fill it, completely ignoring Gabriel's fake reaction of shock.

As I took the glass and headed towards the man again, last thing I heard Gabriel claim was "My pickup lines are not lame," in slightly annoyed but joking tone.

"Get back to work, Gabe." I called to him while I knew he was still in the hearing distance. I slipped a smile back on my face just before I was at the man's table setting the glass of beer down. "Sorry for the wait." I said in that overly-polite tone and pulled out the notebook and pen again. "Are you ready to order now, sir?"

He cleared his throat and gave the menu to me. "Ah, yes. I'll take the Caesar salad." He said and the corners of his mouth curled into a small smile.

"Alright. I'll bring your order soon." I said before heading towards the kitchen.

Leaving the order for Raphael to handle, I quickly returned to serving other customers. It was unusually busy afternoon and one of the waiters, Hester if I remembered correctly, had called in sick so we were understaffed, resulting in running between the kitchen and the tables non-stop.

Eventually the Caesar salad the man had ordered was trusted to my arms. I gladly took it and seeing as my shift slowly neared to its end, it would be the last thing I had to serve that day.

I'm not exactly sure how I stumbled. Whether it was my own clumsiness or something on the floor that I tripped on, maybe just a fold in the carpet, but only seconds later I found myself on the floor with the salad all over me. "Shit-" I gasped, staring at the shattered plate only few feet away from me.

"Oh god- Are you alright?" I looked up to see the man looking down on me with wide eyes.

Wobbling back to my legs, I started muttering apologies to the man as I started gathering the pieces of the broken plate. "I'm terribly sorry, sir. I'll bring you soon another salad and I promise you it's on the house to make up for the wait." I rambled on, slightly afraid of the possible complaints I could get.

Before the man could say anything, I rushed into the kitchen to dump the shards into the nearest trash can and cut myself accidentally in the process. Raphael watched me with a frown on his face, but I brushed it off by asking him for a replacement salad.

I pressed a dishtowel to my cut until the wound had stopped bleeding. It was only slightly longer than an inch and not that deep so I sighed in relief and threw the towel back on the counter, taking a broom with me on my way back to the restaurant's side.

I shifted in discomfort as I swiped up the salad from the floor, feeling several pairs of eyes watching me.

* * *

I had just finished with my shower when somebody knocked on the door. Thinking it was Dean, I headed to open the door only in a towel that was wrapped around my waist. He was my boyfriend so there was no problem, right? "Hello De-"

I froze, staring up and down at the tall figure that certainly wasn't Dean.

So there I stood, not able to blink as I looked in surprised horror at the same man whose salad I had flipped on top of myself only hours prior. "Uh- I think I came to the wrong place." He muttered, his slight amusement showing in the twitching corners of his mouth.

"I would believe so. Who are you looking for?" I asked and leaned against the doorframe. My hands slipped down to the edge of my towel to make sure it wouldn't fall down unexpectedly.

"W-Winchester." He answered with a slight stutter. A sudden realisation washed over me as I heard the name. I connected the matured face to the five-year-old picture that sat on the self along with few other pictures. Sure, the distinct roundness that the face used to have had disappeared completely along the years. The short hairstyle with bangs had grown into flowy brown locks that parted at the middle. Most drastic change was his build: the scrawny figure of a boy he used to have had changed into firm muscles that I could see even through his shirt.

I swallowed before opening my mouth slowly. "Y-You're Sam?" I breathed out carefully, somehow hoping I would be wrong.

He frowned at my question but eventually nodded. "That's me. Let me guess, you're Castiel?" He chuckled under his breath and brushed a few strands of hair behind his ear.

I couldn't help but laugh at the situation I had ended up in. "May I say that this isn't the first impression I wanted to give you." I glanced down at my rather non-existent clothing before moving my eyes to Dean's front door. "I'd like to get dressed, but you can come in if you want. Dean's place is the one next-door, but I don't think he's home yet."

"I guess I could come in then."

As I headed towards my bedroom, I noted Sam he could take anything from the fridge if he wanted, though it was quite empty like always. Being too conscious of what I should wear, I spent the next ten minutes on deciding my clothes. I ended up choosing a grey button-up shirt and a brow cardigan- Dean had mentioned he liked the combination for some reason- along with a simple pair of jeans.

Returning to the living room, I found Sam examining a painting I had left to dry against the wall the previous night. "I don't know much about art but you're talented." He pointed out, straightening his tall frame into its full height. "Dean did mention that you are an artist."

I blushed, wondering what else Dean had told his brother about me. "It's nothing, really." I mumbled, slightly embarrassed. "I just get some extra money out of it. I'm not that great that I could make a living only by painting."

"But you'd like to." Sam stated questionly.

I licked my lips nervously and nodded, eventually biting down on my lower lip. "That's what I've always dreamed of, but let's face it: Only handful of artists make a living out of their work." I played with the sleeves of my cardigan in slight embarrassment, my eyes fixed on them persistently.

Someone knocked on my front door once more and this time, knowing it would be Dean, I almost skipped to it in excitement, our conversation completely forgotten. "Hello Dean." I breathed out, meeting Dean's impossibly green eyes filled with joy.

"Hey Cas." He answered before snatching me from my waist and pulling me into a kiss. I complied as Dean brushed his tongue across my lips and parted them slightly so his tongue slipped inside my mouth. Moaning, I pushed against Dean eagerly, slipped my hands up his arms to his neck and hooked my arms around him.

Both of us pulled away as we heard Sam cough theatrically to remind me of his presence. "It's been a while, Dean." He chuckled as he saw red colour creep on his brother's cheeks and surprised expression fill his face.

"Sammy." Dean practically squeaked, his eyes wide. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

Sam shrugged and rolled his eyes. "Cas here invited me in because certain someone wasn't home." I noticed Dean grimace slightly at the sound of the nickname that had been exclusively in his use until now and I couldn't help but feel smug because of the small sign of jealousy. "Shall we get going, then?"

* * *

"Sam Winchester!" Ellen's loud, firm voice sounded through the Roadhouse as we entered. "Bobby and I have been worried sick because you never call or visit! You better have a proper explanation!"

Pulling Ellen into a friendly hug, Sam chuckled. "I'm sorry Ellen, I've been just busy with school." He answered, just to earn a smack on the top of his head from the feisty woman.

"You could still take a minute or two to call your family and tell them how you are doing! You can't be that busy!"

A rough looking bearded man set his hand on Ellen's shoulder, giving her an assuring smile. "Calm down, will you?" He grunted, rubbing slowly her shoulder. "I'm sure the idjit is not avoiding us on purpose, there's no need to kill him for being busy."

I tilted my head in curiosity. I had seen the man's picture on one of Dean's shelves, next to Sam's picture, but I never had heard Dean talk about him. Now that I thought about it, he had never mentioned any family members aside from Sam. Not that I was angry at him for not telling me about it, I didn't ask and he didn't tell. It was a subject we didn't touch because of an unsaid, mutual agreement. After all, the only thing knew about my family was that I came from a very religious background and I wasn't in speaking terms with my parents.

Dean cleared his throat to get my attention and set his open palm to the small of my back. "Cas, this is my adoptive father and Ellen's husband Bobby Singer." He said, leading me closer to Bobby. "Bobby, meet Cas- Castiel Novak. I'm guessing you already heard from Ellen or Jo but he is my boyfriend."

I swallowed nervously as I took Bobby's offered hand. I had mentally prepared to meet Dean's brother so meeting his father too was kind of too much for me. Still I remained calm, at least on the outside. "Nice meeting you." Bobby mumbled as he shook my hand firmly.

"Yes. It's nice to finally meet Dean's family." I said, not actually lying. Though I couldn't help but wonder about the fact that Dean was adopted. I found it curious that Dean and Sam still had the last name 'Winchester' and it made me wonder at what age they had been adopted. I still decided not to press this matter anymore as I was sure that Dean would tell me when he was ready. "Are you going to join us, Mr Singer?" I asked curiously.

"Of course he is!" Dean exclaimed before Bobby could say anything. "I want you to get to know him too. He was the man who raised me after all." He explained as he rubbed softly my lower back.

The evening went better than I expected. Sam turned out to be really open and didn't seem to have any problems with Dean dating me- like Dean had assured me at least hundred times before today. Even Bobby, after the slight awkwardness at the beginning, eventually warmed up to me after he gave me the basic 'if you hurt Dean I kill you'-speech, which I honestly didn't expect hearing. It was Dean we were talking about after all.

* * *

At around eleven I returned home with Sam and Dean. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little tipsy as I stumbled out of the Impala, right into Dean's arms while giggling uncontrollably. "Come on now." Dean muttered as he supported my weight against his body and walked me to the elevator. I remember Sam snorting as he followed Dean's struggles keeping me up, to which he earned an annoyed 'bitch' from Dean.

"You know, this reminds me of our first kiss" I mused out loud when we were at Dean's front door and he tried to keep me standing while he tried to fish his keys out of his pocket.

"And you know I don't remember it." Dean said, frowning and unlocked the door. "You know where the guest room is Sammy. I have to take care of this drunkard." He called, guiding me towards his own bedroom.

"Don't get too loud while I try to sleep."

Soon my face met with the soft mattress. I listened quietly as Dean started undressing before I eventually opened my mouth. "Can we talk about something tomorrow, when I'm silver?" I asked and rolled to my back.

"About what?"

"I want to know about your family. What it was like growing up for you." My voice was quiet and my mouth dry as I spoke. I pushed myself up from the bed, meeting Dean's confused eyes.

Dean shook his head, pulling his shirt over his head and crawling to the bed. "Okay, tomorrow." He started undressing me and I knew he brushed my request off as drunken talk. It wasn't, I was sure of it. I would have made sure the next morning that we would talk about it.

As my clothes, except for the underwear, were disregarded on the floor, Dean pulled me under the sheets with him. "Good night Cas." He mumbled and gave me a chaste kiss on the lips.

"Good night Dean."

* * *

**AN: Oh my god, I'm so sorry that it took so long to get this chapter done! (Almost a month!) I was quite a bit away from home and then I got sick so I really didn't have time to write. I usually try to write at least few hundred words every day and when my routine was messed up, it was kind of hard to get back on tracks. I think that it might take two weeks at most to get next chapter done, but I'll try to get it done as soon as possible.**

**Okay, I don't like this chapter much because I hurried to finish it. About third was written on my phone while sitting on the backseat of a car and another third when I was still sick, so there are probably more mistakes than usually. I did read this through, but seeing as I'm really tired and possibly bit drunk, I've probably missed a lot of stuff.**

**Aaand yes, I wrote slight Sabriel hinting at the beginning, but it completely depends on you guys if there's more of it, sooo please tell me if you want me to write some Sabriel into the story! (It'll probably be only along the lines of hinting though. I could maybe possibly write a few chapter long spin-off later or something if people are interested...**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I'm not gonna lie to you guys, my depression got worse soon after putting up the previous chapter and I couldn't get myself to write much, hence the long wait. I'm still not better but I'm managing and I'm just trying to get the rest of the chapters (2-3 chapters) written as soon as possible, but I also want to get them written out okay, so we'll see how that turns out.**

**Also, this chapter does contain some mentions of child abuse and also sexual content so if you can't handle either of those well, I suggest you not to read. (The 'sex scene' might not be very well written because it's been ages since I've written any smut, and I wasn't even great back then either.)**

**Aaand it's again really late I'm posting this and I can barely stay awake now, so I'm going to read this through and fix all my mistakes tomorrow, okay? I just wanted to get this chapter up today.**

* * *

"Dean?" I groaned, rubbing my temple in hope of making my budding headache slightly better. Dean wasn't there when I woke up, the heat next to me slowly fading from the sheets. A painkiller was set on the nightstand with a glass of water and I gladly downed them as I wondered where Dean was.

Slipping off the bed and from in between the warm sheets, cold air bit into my skin. I simply didn't feel like putting on the clothes from yesterday, so I went ahead and stole a pair of sweats and an old AC/DC shirt from Dean's closet. It really wasn't much different from what I usually wore at home, except the sweats hung lower on my hips, being size too big.

The smell of coffee drifted in the air as I opened the bedroom door and the sound of plates came from the kitchen. I grinned, quietly tiptoeing my way towards the alluring scent.

Dean was his back towards the door, so I couldn't see what he was doing. I did notice that he was dressed in a fine grey suit that hugged his muscular form perfectly, though I was tempted to slowly rip him out of it. I held down a growl, wanting to avoid detection, and quickly moved behind Dean, slipping my arms around his waist. "Good Morning Dean." I muttered against his neck and planted a light kiss there.

He turned around so we faced each other and kissed me slowly on the lips. As he pried his tongue into my mouth, I tasted the hint of coffee and moaned. I pushed eagerly against my boyfriend's lips as he spun us around so I was the one against the counter. As he pulled away I whimpered and opened my eyes slowly to examine Dean's impossibly green ones. "Sorry Cas, I have to head to work soon." He said, our lips still lingering only inches apart from each other.

"Do you have to?" I whined and slid my arms around his neck, batting my eyelashes innocently. "It's the weekend and I have a day off today. I was hoping to go out with you." I didn't act selfish very often but I couldn't stop the feeling of wanting to monopolize Dean's time taking over me.

Dean placed gentle kisses over my lips and slowly moved to my jaw and to my neck. "Oh, you know I'd love to, but there's some kind of emergency. I'll pick up some food and we can watch TV when I get back, okay?" He muttered as his hand rubbed my back. Eventually he managed to peel himself away from me and for the first time he got a proper look of what I was wearing, his eyes widening with surprise. "Fuck, Cas- Are you wearing my clothes?" He breathed out as his gaze roamed over my body.

My fingers found the hem of the t-shirt and fiddled with it nervously. "I just didn't feel like putting on the clothes from yesterday, I'm sorry if it bothers you." I mumbled as I felt a faint colour rise to my cheeks.

"No no no-" Dean chuckled and a gentle smile played on his lips. "Absolutely not. You look fucking amazing and sexy in my clothes." He took my fidgeting hands and pulled me back against him for one last kiss. "You're seriously making this very hard for me." He mumbled in rather annoyed yet still joking tone.

"Don't go then."

He hummed, as if considering my plead, but then looked at me apologetically. "Sorry, I can't, my boss will kill me." He straightened his suit and brushed his fingers through is hair as he smiled to me gently. "I should be back by five. Oh, and could you tell Sammy that I'm at work?"

I nodded, forcing a disappointed smile. "Of course." Dean rushed towards the door, but I managed to stop him before he was out by calling his name. "I-" I muttered, hesitating with my words. "I still want to talk to you about, you know-" He was going to be mad, wasn't he?

The surprised look grew on Dean's face slowly, probably as my words from the previous day returned to his mind. "R-Right." He stuttered so quietly I almost didn't hear him. "We'll talk, later."

I stood in the hallway for a while, staring at the empty space Dean left behind, before I decided that I needed most definitely a long hot shower.

Once I emerged from the shower, I found Sam sleepily sipping a cup of coffee while flipping through some old magazine. Awkward 'mornings' were muttered as I headed towards the coffee pan and poured myself a cupful. "Dean had to head to work, by the way." I mumbled and took a plentiful taste of the rich black coffee.

"Ah, yeah, I heard him leaving." Sam answered, lifting his head to flash a gentle smile at me.

We stayed in silence for several minutes, he focused on the magazine and I examined his facial structure. I did indeed find a family resemblance to his older brother, but it was only slight. Sam and Dean were so much different as it was possible for siblings to be. "Um, Cas?"

I practically jumped as I heard Sam call my name. Blinking a few times, I returned from my thoughts and heard the familiar melody of my ringtone flow from one ear to another. "I'm guessing that's yours? It has already rung at least four times."

"Oh, I should get that." I rushed into Dean's room, looking for my disregarded jeans from last night. They weren't that hard to locate, of course, but still I couldn't comprehend how in the hell they had ended up half-way in a closed up bottom drawer. "Hello?" I answered the phone even without looking at the caller ID.

"Cassie, bro! I've tried to call you almost a hundred times." Gabriel's cheery voice exclaimed through the speaker, way too happy for my current mood. "I brought those paints you asked for. Where the fuck are you?"

I rubbed my temple while trying to calm myself down. It wasn't Gabriel's fault I wasn't much of a morning person. "Try the door to your left." I groaned as I headed towards the front door.

"What? You over at your boyfriends?"

I opened the door in the middle of Gabriel's sentence and probably looked very pissed off. "That's exactly what it is. Now get your ass in."

Gabriel quirked an amused eyebrow at the sight of me and flipped his cell phone closed with an eased flick of his wrist. He had one of those older models that bended in half from the middle, apparently it made him look cooler. "Those are not your clothes." He pointed out and a his smirk spread so wide it almost reached ear-to-ear.

"I am aware of that." I turned around to return to my heavenly cup of morning coffee. I gave Sam an apologetic smile as I leaned against the counter and listened to the quick-paced steps grow near. "Would you like some coffee, Gabe?" I asked innocently as I took a drink from my cup.

My words were wasted on Gabriel, his eyes wide from surprise as he noticed quite confused Sam sitting at the table. "I'm Sam." He eventually stood up, his tall form towering over Gabriel as he offered his hand as a greeting.

As soon as the following words left Gabriel's mischievous lips, I knew letting him in was a bad decision. "Nice to meet you, Moose." Sam raised his eyebrow at the new nickname. "I'm Gabriel, but you can call me Gabe- Or actually any name is fine if it's from you." This was followed by a wink

Sam chuckled, actually genuinely chuckled in a relaxed manner. "Nice to meet you too. I think I'll stick with Gabe for now, or Shortie." He joked back.

I tried to hide my surprise when the two proceeded in light conversation which, even to my greater surprise, included a lot of flirting. I quickly finished my cup of coffee, sneaked towards the front door while the other two guys were distracted by each other and thanked god Gabriel had left those paints beside the door.

* * *

When Dean finally returned at around seven- two hours late, but I wasn't going to mention it- I was back at my place working on a boring commissioned painting. He leaned against the doorway as I opened the door, his grey suit unbuttoned, tie loosened and two top buttons of his dress shirt also opened. "Dean? Everything alright?" I asked when he sighed deeply at the sight of me.

He didn't say anything, just leaned towards me until our lips met. The way he kissed wasn't normal, he was desperate, craving for closeness. "Dean?" I called his name at the slight moment our lips parted, but he didn't stop to listen.

We stumbled towards my bedroom, his hands wrapping protectively around my waist. I considered pulling away for a moment, but the way Dean seemed to search for comfort made me only pull him closer. Something was definitely wrong, but I didn't dare to ask about it. All I could do was slip my arms around him and whisper his name reassuringly between the kisses.

As we fell down on the bed with a 'thump', Dean pulled away and nuzzled against my neck. My hand found his short hair, brushing through it absentmindedly as neither of us uttered a single word.

"When I was 10, our dad abandoned us." Dean said, barely out loud with his shaking voice.

"Dean?"

He lifted his head, his impossibly green eyes staring right into mine. "We- We used to move around a lot after mom died. Dad couldn't ever hold a job for more than few months so we always had to move when he found another job." Dean shrugged with a sigh, like the stuff he talked about was no big deal. "We ended up in foster care, getting thrown from one place to another regularly. I always did my best so Sammy would have it easier. Gave him some of my food, did his housework for him, said it was my fault if he did something bad."

I had no freaking idea. True, Dean never spoke of his family beside from Sam, but I had just assumed he didn't get along with his father, like me. To think that he had to grow up in an environment like that. I still didn't say anything, I couldn't find the words. Above anything else, I didn't want him to think I pitied him because of his past. "It wasn't until I was 16 that Bobby, a friend of our dad's, tracked us down and adopted us. It was a huge relief, considering about a year prior that they had finally separated me and Sam, thinking that he was old enough to survive on his own. I'm really thankful that Bobby bothered to look for us, I don't know how I would have ended up like if he would have taken us in any later."

Back in the silence, I contemplated what I should say and after several minutes, I admitted there was only one thing to say. "My father used to hit me sometimes." I said softly. I thought I had come terms with this fact but saying it out loud felt like ripping open the old wounds. "It wasn't often, I don't know if you could call it abuse because I know he didn't want to hurt me."

Dean's eyes looked at me filled with worry and I tried to smile faintly back at him. "He was raised in a religious family and his parents were very old fashioned. My- um, my grandfather believed the best way to teach children to behave was to punish them and my father adapted that way of thinking. He wasn't as violent, really. Yes, he would always punch me when I did something he thought was wrong, but it was always that one punch. I would always escape to my room and afterwards, just before sleep time. He would ask me if I had learned my lesson and he would apologise. He would always say it was for my own best."

Tears welled up in my eyes involuntary and Dean reached forward to kiss me slowly on the lips. "Last time he hit me was the night I moved away." He kissed me again. "I had managed to hide the fact that I decided to major in art in college until then. When I told him, he hit me and told me I was wasting my life." Another kiss and then a short pause. "He never apologised for that time."

It was the last straw, resulting in me sobbing against Dean's shirt. "Shhh, Cas. It's fine." He climbed above me properly and leaned down to kiss me lazily, muttering softly assuring words until my tears had tried. Eventually, the nature of our kisses changed to more demanding and hungry. As Dean's leg brushed against my crotch, I felt myself harden and for the first time, I knew that I was ready to take our relationship 'into the next level', at least slightly.

When I felt friction once more graze against my half-hard cock, I moaned quietly against Dean's mouth. He pulled away, giving me a worried look. "Cas, god, I'm sorry." He sat up and ran his fingers through his short brown hair, his face completely flushed with light red colour.

"Dean?" I breathed out his name and propped myself up from the bed.

"I'm so sorry Cas. I should control myself better. Even last time-"

Dean couldn't finish his sentence because I pulled him back down to the bed and rolled myself on top of him. "You don't need to worry about holding back." I looked to his amazed face while I unbuttoned his shirt to reveal his perfectly sculptured body. His eyes widened from before as I pulled off the AC/DC shirt and leaned down to claim his lips. "I can't go all the way yet but I think I can pleasure you to some extent." I whispered into his ear, out of breath, and loving the way Dean's muscles felt under my fingertips.

"Damn, where has my awkward virgin run off to?" Dean laughed and locked his arms around my neck.

I rolled my hips against Dean's, enjoying the delicious moans I managed to get out of his mouth. "I do apologise." I chuckled before I whimpered at the feel of friction against my erection. "May I remind you I wasn't an awkward virgin to begin with?"

Dean's hands slipped from my neck, down my back to my waist and to the band of the sweats I was wearing. "Get these off." He breathed out, already slipping them past my hips. "I want to feel all of your skin against mine." As soon as I was pushing the sweats down, Dean slipped from underneath me and threw his dress shirt somewhere on the floor.

Once all our articles of clothing were abandoned somewhere on the floor, Dean pushed me against the bed once again and took the dominance over the situation. "I love you Cas, god I love you so much." Dean announced, getting me moan only from his lust filled voice.

"Me too dean," was pretty much all I could say before I felt the tingling rush of pleasure wash over my body. Fuck, I had not expected the feeling of our groins rubbing together without any restrictions of clothes. It was somewhat new feeling, of course not the same as being with a woman, but it felt good nonetheless.

The pleasure twisted in my gut as Dean's pace started getting more frequent. My orgasm was nearing way too soon, but I couldn't help myself getting lost in the amazing warmth of another human being moving against me. The noises Dean made filled my ears, becoming all I cared to hear. The smell of cologne mixed with sweat was the most intoxicating scent ever and I decided I could not ever get enough of it.

My mind went blank as I came, gripping desperately into Dean as he kissed me through it and moved against my body in an even rhythm.

My body seemed to go limp as I came back from my pleasurable high. I felt really drowsy and my eyelids seemed to involuntary close, making me drift into most comfortable sleep in a long time.

Before I lost my consciousness completely, lips managed to press against my temple and I could hear Dean muttering "Sleep well."


End file.
